My Thoughts

If you want to accept her
You’ll have to understand
That she’s made of duality
And filled with doubt.

Is it too much for people to just reach out and help without expecting something back? Are we all so self-righteous that we cannot spare one minute to cheer another’s day? Are we not all ultimately just the same as everybody else? Why must it be so taboo to care for a stranger or even an acquaintance? Is it just because we know we might not get anything in return? If that’s it, then I for one am a little ashamed to live in this society.

Listen to me. You may think you know what you’re doing. You may think you’ve got it all figured out. You may think you know what’s good and bad, right and wrong. But let me tell you something. You don’t. You’re not sure if it will be ok and you can’t be. You can’t make those promises. You don’t even know what life is, what it has to offer. You don’t even know you’re naïve. These decisions you’re making, they’re a risk. You’re playing with rocks here, buddy. You may not care about your own little pond, but you’ve got to be careful not to ripple the ocean.

some people seem to have lost the ability to feel sad. it’s good to be positive and optimistic but that’s denying a lot of the realities of life. we need to be able to feel bad sometimes so we know how to fix things and make them better

i think pain is kind of subjective really. it never even occurred to me that some people might actually pity me if i was open about my life until i actually saw it and experienced it. but i think that ultimately, everybody will find something that they can pity themselves for or that they can expect others to pity them for. and it’s too easy for us all to get caught up in feeling sorry for ourselves and for others that we forget about potential and future and that all that pity doesn’t actually make anything better

Let me just be completely honest with you. I can’t do it. It’s all just pretend to me and that’s all it will ever be because I know all too well how pretend it is for anybody. I don’t want to spend any more time pretending that that’s not the truth, and especially not around you.  I’ve made my own goals now and I’m going to work through the fake and I’m going to achieve them and I’m not going to let anything or anyone slow me down anymore.  I’ve wasted too much time already and I just can’t do that again. I just can’t.

Sometimes I think I am filled with emptiness. 

To thine own self be true, you say

But I cannot bear the cost I must pay.

To be true to my self or true to my kin

This is the question that tears me within.

O discernment, discernment, where art thou discernment?

You are the sun, bring me light for adjournment.

Tell me, does my sweet sorrow end in tragedy,

Or can I transcend this formality?

This thinking too much, the fault in myself,

Brought me to a crossroads that stabs at my health.

Do I follow my ambition and so stab your backs

Or suffer in silence to fake what I lack?

I don’t always know what’s real and what’s not

I can’t feel the difference between cold and hot

Sometimes I get fooled by deceptive intentions

So I close myself off to new interventions

If one is bad they must all be the same

If one is bad they are all to blame.

And though I know this reason’s unsound

It would kill me inside and make my heart pound

To see myself fooled just one more time

To endure one more attack on my pride

I’ve screwed up enough; I want nothing more

Than to crawl in a hole and board up the door.

But I’m not going to live that way really

Living like that would just be plain silly

There is so much to do and so much to see

I have so much excitement for all I can be.

I’ll go out on my own, gripping life by the ears

And I’ll make good use out of all of my years.

Sometimes you just have to make yourself so busy that you don’t have time for sadness.